January 2012- Livid Red GRRL #20MB
Pale Burnhardt: How long have you been a derby girl?
Livid RED Grrl: Since September 21st 2010.
PB: What do you skate on?
Red: Riedell SheDevils with SureGrip Fugitives and Fugitives MIDs (bought them that way off Craigslist - Best purchase yet!)
PB: What is the significance of your derby name?
Red: Tattoo and piercing enthusiast who has an insatiable love for the dead.
PB: If your car had a name, what would it be?
Red: Well, it's female because it HATES me, so I would call it Christine!
PB: Biggest pet peeve when bouting, be it your own team or vs. another?
Red: I don't think that I have any pet peeves with bouting. I have been fortunate enough to have an awesome team to skate with and all of the girls I have seen are super amazing and cool. Now, if there was excessive whining or yelling of derogatories at each other then that would be my BIGGEST pet peeve. Derby is FUN. you either enjoy it or go home ( or play hockey).
PB: Touche! What is going through your head as the Ref is counting down right before a Jam?
Red: Don't fall first! Because all those people are watching and the first girl that falls, everyone's like "Oh, look she fell."
PB: I know that feeling... Say you wanted to start a business, what would its purpose be? What would you do or make?
Red: If I could (would) cook, it'd be a bakery of crazy concoctions. I love the shows where people make all sorts of crazy yet delicious things and I LOVE food! But since I have an infatuation with zombies, I wonder if I could open a zombie consulting service or maybe offer to be a translator for zombies. If you know who Dylan Dog is, then that's the job I'd love to have!
PB: Well what is your favorite way to end a day off from work?
Red: Drinking and watching TV or Facebook. Shows like Dexter or Shameless. Chill with my bottle of Kinky [liqueur]. But I haven't had a day off in forever!
PB: If you had a photoalbum (a paper one, not the kind on Facebook) about the past 5 years of your life, what would the cover look like?
Red: It would be chaotic. There would be a little of family, friends, derby, tattoos, piercings, and zombies all rolled together. A collage of chaos...this is my life!
PB: You have quite a few tattoos and as far as I am aware, you are a natural redhead. If you had a group of natural born freckles that made a shape or picture, what would you want it to be of?
Red: A map of the US?...
Constellations?... How about a huge spider! I want a 3D looking tattoo of a spider like it's sitting on my skin, but my man [Joe Rosalez- Permanent Collections, Fort Dodge, IA] won't do it. He hates spiders!
PB: Back to the zombie obsession, have you ever thought about if you were bit in a zombie attack, but the rest of your family wasn't and you were all walled in together? Would you try to find a way out or just run rampent inside the boundary?
Red: If I was the only one infected, I would say my goodbyes and let them shoot me as I was turning. If none of them could shoot me then I would leave. (They're not that fun anyway so they'd probably taste bad!)
PB: If fun levels had anything to do with taste, I wonder how the care of livestock would change? ...Do you ever wonder why they don't emphasize on the fact that zombies don't go after each other? (possible flavor/fun factor?) Or that the rotting flesh must stink to high hell?
Red: Yes, I DO! They also don't fight for the food, nor do they judge each other on their race, color, religion, creed, sex, national origin, age, disability, veteran status, or sexual orientation. They don't discriminate. Zombies are EOE (equal opportunity eaters).
PB: That makes me think of I Am Legend with Will Smith. Did you notice that none of the very diverse New Yorkers who got ill and changed to the very zombie-like "next generation" kept their diverse traits? Photosensitivity aside, they were all the same cave-swelling shade of sickly white and very thin. Thoughts?
Red: Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe it was just to help justify the whole incinerating-in-the-sun thing.